Fairytale Snow.

Snow. It's cold. It's white. It's fun.:)
Waking up in the early morning to look out my window and see a blanket of white, is the most heart warming feeling. It makes me feel like a little kid. Jumping out of bed stumbling across the hallway trying to contain my joy and excitement until I reach my destination where I let my screeches of overjoyed thrill spill from my lungs only to fill the air of my parent's bedroom. On any regular day they'd be grumpy from me waking them up so early but on a snow day like today, it is more than acceptable for them (considering they too jump out of bed to look out their windows as well).
Coming from Miami, I guess snow is almost like this fictional object that we would only read about in fairytales. But now having the opportunity to see it at least once a year so far in the 4 years I have lived in North Carolina, its definitely the best gift to receive around Christmas time.
Makes me want to take a paint brush out and paint everything around me. It's like a blank white canvas. Of course I know well enough that my hand nor my imagination could ever create something as magnificent as God has done.
I can only imagine what heaven awaits for us. Funny how many perceive it to be this white wonderland. Looking at the white of the snow reminds me of it. How gorgeously beautiful the sheet of perfect white just lays there untouched. Heaven will be even more lovely in the most unimaginable way. How exciting!

My Daddy.

I take a moment to collect my thoughts and feeling on this subject because I find it difficult to truly express something that causes me to simply run away from everything and not say a word to anyone. But I have found that saying something when I don't want to say anything helps me. And of course saying nothing when I DO want to say something also helps just the same.
Okay, so here I go.
Breathe.
Why breathe? Because anger likes to get the most of me sometimes. Anger likes to stick itself in every space in my mind so that all my focus is on anger. Therefore I forget to breathe because that little section in my mind where it usually tells me to breathe is being occupied by anger. Anger is a space hog.
I dare not go into detail on what exactly has caused me to feel such pain, but to touch upon it ever so slightly, it has to do with my father. My daddy. Man, I love my daddy so much. I may argue with him at times and maybe we are two opposite people, but he means the world to me. And when someone tries to hurt him, I go nuts.
See, he has that personality that few have. He looks for the good in all people and he tries to understand they're problems and help them out.
He has been the best example of a father I have ever witnessed. He is such a role model in my life. He has diabetes and struggles to maintain his sugar every single day. He has to pierce that needle in his skin to keep him going. He's been suffering from a deep wound that has affected his bone for over a month but he keeps pushing. He works and works hours of study, hours of labor to keep our family up and going. He loves my mom like ridiculous mad in love. He love us, his children, like he's a lion and would kill for us. He is the daddy that makes my siblings and I all run to the door and fight to be the first one to greet him when he comes back from work. People look to him for wisdom and advise all the time. Somehow he makes time for everyone and everything. It's amazing what he does. There are so many good thing I could say about him but it seems that no matter what good things I may speak about him, there will still continue to be that force of negativity that seeks to challenge our family's morals.
My dad has served as a pastor since I could remember. We moved to North Carolina 4 years ago to leave the pastoral life aside. God had other plans for us. He had work for us to do here in North Carolina and so he placed my father as a pastor in a church in the city we live in but he was placed as part time being payed with part of a part time. But we all know that there's no such thing as a part time when working for the Lord. You cannot simply give a part of your time to God. You give youre EVERYTHING or NOTHING. There is not in between. You live your life for Him and give your ALL.
God's hand has been clearly seen in the years we've been here. But now is when we're experiencing a bit of that turbulence once more. My father has patience. He keeps his head down when others like to keep it higher than the clouds. He is humble. He's been working all these years to prove to others what he is capable with God leading the way. I just pray that the main church can see what they keep on pushing away. I pray they can see what they keep on delaying.

God answers prayers according to His perfect will.

This One Life.

Life. You'd think the English language would have created a much more complex word for a much more complex thing. Four measly little letters. But its funny how life can be taken away as quickly as one can say the word "life".
I'm sure that today thousands of people have died somewhere, someplace for some reason or another.
But today someone I knew died just down the road from my high school.
A young man near ready to start adulthood at the mere age of 18.
He was hit by a car a teacher from the school was driving.
It fills my eyes with tears to have found out about this incident.
But I know God is perfect. I know God is good. I know God has control of ALL things. Even though many of us would look at a death in way that makes us ask.. "God let this happen?". Yes. God let this happen because God has a plan. A plan greater than our understanding could possibly allow.
Only a few months ago did I walk the hallways with this kid and exchange greetings.
Only a few days ago did I spot him at a store making some purchases.
Its was only a few minutes ago that I heard he was gone. Gone from this world.
I hope with all my heart that he was saved because I hope to see him again sometime. Now, I continue to pray for his family and friends. I pray they are supported. I pray they are comforted. I pray for the teacher who accidentally hit him. I pray he is also comforted because I know he is emotionally unstable now. I pray all these things in God holy name.

Jeremiah 29:11
11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Hope and a future? YES but our hope and a future may not always remain here on earth. I know for sure God had our hope and a future in Heaven for those who accept Him. Some just get to receive it a little sooner than others. God is good all the time.

Love is not so lovely.

Love is the most complicated thing in the world. I believe it to be.
As of now, I see love as this big mean bully laughing at me while giving me the worst wedgie of life. So love is quite cruel to me yet I know it is so difficult to resist.
Love captures me and makes me spin and smile and...and ..why is love such an oxymoron?
But wait...God is love. God is not complicated nor cruel. Nor is He a bully. God is the one thing that actually makes me want and need to love. Because God's love is so beautiful. God's love is eternal and it is this indescribable thing that gives me life.
I love LOVE.
I need love.
Right now i'm facing some hardships with this love thing.
I wait to LOVE a person because love is sacred. Love shouldnt be JUST a word that is thrown around like any other word in the English language. "I love this. I love that. blah blah blah."
If I say "I love you" then I will mean it with every bone in my body. With every sense in my mind. With every living thing that lives in me.
I care so much for my boyfriend. I care soo deeply for him that he has forever more kept a piece of my heart because I have given so far 2 months of my life to him. BUT, if something were to happen and we no longer boyfriend and girlfriend, then even though he has that little piece of my heart, I still have the most important part and that piece I will not give to anyone until I marry. But again there there is yet another piece of my heart that makes my heart whole. That piece belongs to God. He has my whole heart. :) So how far will you take love, and to whome will this sacred word be passed to.
Funny thing is, to share your love with another, is to share the word of God. To share who God is.
I love so many things, but I dare not let love for another person or thing surpass my love for God. <3