Fairytale Snow.

Snow. It's cold. It's white. It's fun.:)
Waking up in the early morning to look out my window and see a blanket of white, is the most heart warming feeling. It makes me feel like a little kid. Jumping out of bed stumbling across the hallway trying to contain my joy and excitement until I reach my destination where I let my screeches of overjoyed thrill spill from my lungs only to fill the air of my parent's bedroom. On any regular day they'd be grumpy from me waking them up so early but on a snow day like today, it is more than acceptable for them (considering they too jump out of bed to look out their windows as well).
Coming from Miami, I guess snow is almost like this fictional object that we would only read about in fairytales. But now having the opportunity to see it at least once a year so far in the 4 years I have lived in North Carolina, its definitely the best gift to receive around Christmas time.
Makes me want to take a paint brush out and paint everything around me. It's like a blank white canvas. Of course I know well enough that my hand nor my imagination could ever create something as magnificent as God has done.
I can only imagine what heaven awaits for us. Funny how many perceive it to be this white wonderland. Looking at the white of the snow reminds me of it. How gorgeously beautiful the sheet of perfect white just lays there untouched. Heaven will be even more lovely in the most unimaginable way. How exciting!

My Daddy.

I take a moment to collect my thoughts and feeling on this subject because I find it difficult to truly express something that causes me to simply run away from everything and not say a word to anyone. But I have found that saying something when I don't want to say anything helps me. And of course saying nothing when I DO want to say something also helps just the same.
Okay, so here I go.
Breathe.
Why breathe? Because anger likes to get the most of me sometimes. Anger likes to stick itself in every space in my mind so that all my focus is on anger. Therefore I forget to breathe because that little section in my mind where it usually tells me to breathe is being occupied by anger. Anger is a space hog.
I dare not go into detail on what exactly has caused me to feel such pain, but to touch upon it ever so slightly, it has to do with my father. My daddy. Man, I love my daddy so much. I may argue with him at times and maybe we are two opposite people, but he means the world to me. And when someone tries to hurt him, I go nuts.
See, he has that personality that few have. He looks for the good in all people and he tries to understand they're problems and help them out.
He has been the best example of a father I have ever witnessed. He is such a role model in my life. He has diabetes and struggles to maintain his sugar every single day. He has to pierce that needle in his skin to keep him going. He's been suffering from a deep wound that has affected his bone for over a month but he keeps pushing. He works and works hours of study, hours of labor to keep our family up and going. He loves my mom like ridiculous mad in love. He love us, his children, like he's a lion and would kill for us. He is the daddy that makes my siblings and I all run to the door and fight to be the first one to greet him when he comes back from work. People look to him for wisdom and advise all the time. Somehow he makes time for everyone and everything. It's amazing what he does. There are so many good thing I could say about him but it seems that no matter what good things I may speak about him, there will still continue to be that force of negativity that seeks to challenge our family's morals.
My dad has served as a pastor since I could remember. We moved to North Carolina 4 years ago to leave the pastoral life aside. God had other plans for us. He had work for us to do here in North Carolina and so he placed my father as a pastor in a church in the city we live in but he was placed as part time being payed with part of a part time. But we all know that there's no such thing as a part time when working for the Lord. You cannot simply give a part of your time to God. You give youre EVERYTHING or NOTHING. There is not in between. You live your life for Him and give your ALL.
God's hand has been clearly seen in the years we've been here. But now is when we're experiencing a bit of that turbulence once more. My father has patience. He keeps his head down when others like to keep it higher than the clouds. He is humble. He's been working all these years to prove to others what he is capable with God leading the way. I just pray that the main church can see what they keep on pushing away. I pray they can see what they keep on delaying.

God answers prayers according to His perfect will.

This One Life.

Life. You'd think the English language would have created a much more complex word for a much more complex thing. Four measly little letters. But its funny how life can be taken away as quickly as one can say the word "life".
I'm sure that today thousands of people have died somewhere, someplace for some reason or another.
But today someone I knew died just down the road from my high school.
A young man near ready to start adulthood at the mere age of 18.
He was hit by a car a teacher from the school was driving.
It fills my eyes with tears to have found out about this incident.
But I know God is perfect. I know God is good. I know God has control of ALL things. Even though many of us would look at a death in way that makes us ask.. "God let this happen?". Yes. God let this happen because God has a plan. A plan greater than our understanding could possibly allow.
Only a few months ago did I walk the hallways with this kid and exchange greetings.
Only a few days ago did I spot him at a store making some purchases.
Its was only a few minutes ago that I heard he was gone. Gone from this world.
I hope with all my heart that he was saved because I hope to see him again sometime. Now, I continue to pray for his family and friends. I pray they are supported. I pray they are comforted. I pray for the teacher who accidentally hit him. I pray he is also comforted because I know he is emotionally unstable now. I pray all these things in God holy name.

Jeremiah 29:11
11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Hope and a future? YES but our hope and a future may not always remain here on earth. I know for sure God had our hope and a future in Heaven for those who accept Him. Some just get to receive it a little sooner than others. God is good all the time.

Love is not so lovely.

Love is the most complicated thing in the world. I believe it to be.
As of now, I see love as this big mean bully laughing at me while giving me the worst wedgie of life. So love is quite cruel to me yet I know it is so difficult to resist.
Love captures me and makes me spin and smile and...and ..why is love such an oxymoron?
But wait...God is love. God is not complicated nor cruel. Nor is He a bully. God is the one thing that actually makes me want and need to love. Because God's love is so beautiful. God's love is eternal and it is this indescribable thing that gives me life.
I love LOVE.
I need love.
Right now i'm facing some hardships with this love thing.
I wait to LOVE a person because love is sacred. Love shouldnt be JUST a word that is thrown around like any other word in the English language. "I love this. I love that. blah blah blah."
If I say "I love you" then I will mean it with every bone in my body. With every sense in my mind. With every living thing that lives in me.
I care so much for my boyfriend. I care soo deeply for him that he has forever more kept a piece of my heart because I have given so far 2 months of my life to him. BUT, if something were to happen and we no longer boyfriend and girlfriend, then even though he has that little piece of my heart, I still have the most important part and that piece I will not give to anyone until I marry. But again there there is yet another piece of my heart that makes my heart whole. That piece belongs to God. He has my whole heart. :) So how far will you take love, and to whome will this sacred word be passed to.
Funny thing is, to share your love with another, is to share the word of God. To share who God is.
I love so many things, but I dare not let love for another person or thing surpass my love for God. <3

Patience is a ...pain

Patience.
Is there another option?
Sometimes I wish there were. Sometimes I wish there was a shortcut. Sometimes I wish there was an easier way. There's a lot to wish, but I often recall my dad preaching some Sunday mornings of how people are too impatient. There are microwaves that speedily cook meals, there are fast food restaurants, there are airplanes, cars, and there are a lot more things that make life faster. We live in a fast paced world. There's a lot in the world that tell us we shouldn't have to wait.

But what value do we find in things that are handed to us in a silver platter?

We get so used to everything being handed to us that we don't realize how difficult it can be to be patient, but the end result is of the utmost satisfaction. I feel I need to relearn this skill of patience.
"Oh wise one, how can I learn this skill of patience?" "Grasshopper, to learn the skill of patience, one must first practice patience."
Sometimes I go through these problems that I feel should be solved on the spot. But when it comes to people I love and care about that sometimes hurt me, I feel that its either "change now" or "go away". But what about "I'll wait". Because sometimes (and a lot of times) they're worth the wait.

God's love is undefined.

Words could not possibly describe the love I have for God. The problem is, neither could my actions. The bigger problem is, I let that idea block me from even attempting. Why do I feel the need to limit myself from attempting to demonstrate my love for God. I feel that I've been letting others hold me down. I see that not everyone lifts their hands when they sing. Or I see not everyone kneels down when they're praying. I let others limit me but in reality its myself limiting me.
These are just rants of my pains and struggles. But hopefully they benefit someone.
I just want to fall in love with God all over again. I want him to just take my heart and go BOOM. I want his words to spill from my mouth. I want his love to run through every cell in my body. I want to want God more. How can I possibly express this desire I hold in my soul? But more than express; how can I take into action all the desires I hold. How can my thoughts and desires to love God more move my hands and feet into the direction that God wants me to take them.
It pains me to write such words because I feel that I am all mouth. Nothing more than letters on screen.
I pray that I may become more. I pray the same for you too.

Candy Recession.

Happy Halloween....Not really.
Walking down the streets of our neighborhood, taking my little brother out trick or treating was really not treat at all. In fact it was literally no treat at all. Out of the several homes we passed, I would say only about 5 had their light on ready to give candy out. So in the spirit of getting free candy, we drove onto my grandparent's neighborhood that has pretty nice homes and all lined up next to each other. The neighborhood was huge so we figured it was an easy access sort of trip... Apparently everyone else in town thought so too.
As we reached the entrance of the neighborhood, we immediately saw several roads filled with cars parking near the sidewalks. It was actually quite overwhelming. Still determined, we parked the car in my grandparent's home and headed out to search for goodies.
I recall seeing at least 30 little kids all holding their bags out in front of the first house we met as we walked down the street. To our left, 3 mobs of 15 people. To our right, 5 house lights all shutting off signifying the end of their candy stock.
We walked around for just about 5 more minutes and went straight home knowing the hopeless attempts would become failures if we went on further.
Halloween was not good, but it really isn't supposed to be good anyway. Pagan holidays aren't my thing. God is my thing. So maybe it was a lesson well taught?

Miners in Chile.

Imagine spending 69 days trapped in a place of darkness not knowing whether you'll make it through those day. Not knowing if you'll make it another day. Not knowing whether you'll ever get to see the light of day again. Now open your eyes. Now look in the mirror. You are there already.
Just like the 33 miners in Chile that hit the news stations all over the world. They too were trapped in pure darkness. Not knowing whether they'd live.
How are we any different.
What makes you think that you are not trapped in a hole of pure darkness?
What makes you think you're in a better position then those miners were in while trapped?
Some people spend their lives living in a hole of hopelessness and fear. They live in a pit of darkness that makes them question the days left they have on this earth. This pit may be a hole of the sins you may have committed. It may be a hole of lies you've told. A hole of people you hurt, or a hole of those you haven't forgiven. Whatever the circumstance that brought you to this darkness, there's still hope.
I apply this incident to the readers of this blog, but what makes me so special that I need not to apply it to myself?
His name is Jesus.
Why do I, Jessica Guerrero, not find myself in a black hole? Because I was saved long long ago.
I was rescued from that caved in mine. I was pulled out from the depths of the ground. I was cleansed and given life. Eternal life. Yeah, sometimes there's those days when we wish to return to that hole. We wish to return to the wrong that put us there in the first place. But thats where we stand firm. That's where we can rely on God.
The miners too were very fortunate to have been rescued from that hole a couple days ago. But what made the story truly touching for me was the fact that they chose to be saved by Jesus whom died on the cross for our sins. They cared for their souls to be saved first, rather than their carnal bodies.
And that made the ultimate difference.

God is so good all the time.

Oh no! Adulthood.

Am I at that age where people start turning into an adult? eww.
I go to college and there are people who are married, engaged or divorced.
I'm 19, yet there is a long list of fellow classmates aged 18 that are currently engaged. hmm..I just got my first boyfriend 2 weeks ago and I'm 19. Perhaps I'm slightly behind on the trend, but I wouldn't hope so. I actually prefer it this way. How immature am I still. Very, apparently. Therefore I dare not push myself into this engaged trend.
There's this dude that got divorced at 19. I don't even wanna know the whole story. I feel like that was a clear road for anyone to have seen if they had gotten married at such an early age.
Like that show "Engaged and Underage" on MTV.
Wow. Weird. I sign onto Facebook and perhaps its the weather, but I've been seeing an awful lot of "in a relationship" statuses. And I proudly include myself in that group. :)
BUT, then I begin to see "engaged to ____" and then I'm like..."WOAH...aren't they younger than me?...didnt they graduate like last year...didnt they JUST hit puberty. haha".
Life slaps you in the face. I just wish it were that "hey (*slaps lightly in the cheek*)..wake up...wake up." sort or wake-up call, Not the "HEY ITS LIFE. YOU SUCK and TOO BAD if you're not prepared!! (*punches in the face*)".
Yes well the Rolling Stones always seem to be right in some odd way. "You cant always get what you want!".
PEACE!

My Love.

Well its been a while since my last post.
I suppose I haven't had the desire to write due to my lack in seen increase of followers. No worries though. Not much has truly happened.
But one thing has definitely been the biggest thus far. My boyfriend. :)
If only that smiley could be put in real life and if only you could see my face now.
Yes, its that awesome. He makes me feel that 'Yay'! :)
God speaks truth when He says patience is one of the fruits of the spirit.
I've waited quite the while for a guy that I can settle to call my boyfriend. Ive waited 19 years. And this October the 1st has allowed me to break that chain for once.
He is my boyfriend. He's awesome.
I don't know how long this relationship will last and I don't know what will become of it, but this much I know to be true: He was worth the patience of having a boyfriend. He makes my smiles more meaningful.
I'm finding myself playing music in my room and dancing alone like a crazy child.
Its fabulous!
I pray for the best. :)

This Infamous Day.

How widely known is the day we find ourselves in.
I'm pretty grateful for my life. I'm pretty grateful that none of my loved ones had to face the tragedy of 9/11. I'm thankful that I was no where near NY or Washington and that I knew no one from there. But why do I all of a sudden feel so a part of this day?
I'm sure you readers turn on the TV or computer sometime in your life. But whether you've seen it on TV or online or wherever; there is a current issue on the rise.
Hear about the church burning these Quran's on this day? Due to public rejection and outside threats, they've decided to not do such thing.
Its sad to see that people who hold the name I call myself (Christian), represent me in such a way. Its sad that people who say they love Jesus and want to follow his ways, choose to express their love by hating others? I'm not claming to be little miss perfect, but I truly desire for the love that we have to be exposed to the world more instead of hate. I don't understand though. Then again I may be naive or narrow minded to some degree but I just wish the world didn't have to be that way. Life is difficult and as the bible says, each day brings it own troubles. (Matthew 6:36). At least we're alive and well and God knows what the future hold for us. And thats all that really matters.

Why, Hello September!

What is a great way to start off this month? I'll tell you one, Buying tickets to one of your favorite band's concert. BUT i can name an even better one; having someone else buy them for you. Oh yes. How ideal is that?
BUT BUT...This 1st of September didnt exactly start off this way.
My sister and I were both sitting in the car on our way to the house returning from school, when ALL OF A SUDDEN...a flash of lightning...no kidding. When all of a sudden, the radio station we were listening to made an announcement that the 15th caller would recieve 2 free tickets to this concert we were dying to go see. The calling was gonna start in an hour and my sister and I were more than ready at that moment. We had out cell phones at hand setting the number they had given us to speed dial. One click and we'd be on that dial tome quicker than your grandma.
The hour cam and as soon as we heard that announcer say "Call Now!" we clicked and called and hung up and called again, and hung up...and called...and clicked ..and hungup..and ..and..and...nothing. Nada. the German word for nothing (cant spell it). and yeah.
We weren't the 15th caller.
My sister was BUMMED OUT. So was I, but not as much as her.
So, seeking to be comforted and happy again, we went out for ice cream (the solution to most temporary problems). Once we reached the bottom of our cups of ice cream, we realized we were still bummed out.
SO, we took the only solution left to this problem.
BUY TICKETS.
Now of course Jesus is the real solution and we would have dealt with it fine if we didn't go...but we're stubborn. hehe.
ANYWAYS...
Care to know what band???
KINGS OF LEON. oh oh oh..and Black Keys. :) Can't forget about them and their awesomeness.
Sooo..I'm pretty psyched right now.
I sorta' feel like listening to their music 24/7 now so that when concert time comes, I'll know every lyric by heart and be the ULTIMATE FAN!!! *echo's in the background*
It shall be epic for a number of reasons. I'll be there, and everyone knows there has to be SOME form of life to this party. And well because I will be in the same room as Kings Of Leon and Black Keys.
Be jealous. Ok..now stop.
So that is my small but quite eventful 1st of September.
Lovely, no?
God is so good. :) He spoils me much more than I deserve.

He's 9 today.

Happy Birthday to my brother. Lucas Just turned 9 today and golly, he's growing up. Our relationship is so confusing sometimes, but one thing is clear; we love each other. we'd die for each other. Now...we fight each other ALL the time. But its such an odd sort odd fighting, We'll bug each other, we'll start laughing at something dumb and then it turns into a fight. We'll literally chase each other down the halls of our home and I'll usually be the one being chased down. I'll run into the bathroom and lock myself in there and then I'll here these deafening pounds on the door. As soon as he leaves I'll run off and he'll come back and chase me again, then I'll confront him and we'll grab each others hands and sorta push each other back..... And then we start laughing. We start laughing hysterically. It is so oddly confusing to understand whether this whole thing was a game or if we were truly fighting, and sometimes I cant even tell the difference. We fight, But we love. And I cant imagine my life without my baby brother. Happy Birthday Lucas. :)

Color Me...Gray?

As an artist, I often times seek the many ways I could possibly express myself or set myself apart from the rest of the world. My clothes is sometimes blinding due to the fact that I choose obnoxious colors. My room gives people a headache because of all the colorful scarves and figurines found everywhere. So I just enjoy expressing myself in said ways. Another way I tend to express myself is through my hair.
I'm like the amateur stylist around my house. If my mom or sister need their hair done, I'm who you call. I got some skills, but not crazy awesome ones.
Either way, it was in the day of yesterday, that I thought to myself, its been a while since I've dyed my hair. My roots were beginning to stick out a lot and my continuous blond color was beginning to bore me. I tend to get bored quickly with my hair. Its quite frustrating. So here I am in Walmart, making my way to the hair dye section and I choose a red-ish color.
I go home. Open the package. Mix. Dump on my hair. Wait 25 min. Wash my hair.
And there drops my jaw as I look in the mirror.
Is there an alternate ending to this story? Can I choose how I end this story of my life. Cause it would be great if I told you that I looked in the mirror and there I saw before me hair like an angel. Pure perfection and beauty.
And there my story ends...but then I woke up and my hair was still GRAY!!
Did you catch that? GRAY. GRAY like not blonde or redish or natural looking just GRAY. Okay okay, so it can be debated that I simply have a very ash blonde hair color. But I prefer to let the sugar coat simply melt off and say its gray. Because that is what I see under every shade of light.
So I have decided to simply not dye my hair anymore. I have decided that I shal leave my hair in its natural state. (Plus, my mom says I cant dye it anymore)

Schooling comes first.

College Student. I've added that to words that describe me....not that I keep a list in hand.
Either way, it is because I am now considered one of these people, that I have had to make the biggest decision OF MY LIFE.
Lies. It's not the biggest one. I just thought this blog would sound a bit more interesting by me writing that. And by explaining all this to you readers, I am also simultaneously causing you people (and by "you people" I mean my only two followers) to wait a bit longer for this mysterious decision that I am about to lay before you.
This decision may in fact affect a whole two minutes of your life. It is because of this decision that you may find yourself doing something completely different than you would have done before this decision had been made.
Do you truly care to find out what this decision is?
Well, The decision is....
**TUNE IN NEXT TIME TO FIND OUT WHAT JESSICA'S DECISION IS!!!!!**

Kidding! I wouldn't do that to you. Well, the decision is to refrain from blogging everyday. I have realized that apart from the lack of recorded readers I have here; I have also begun college and studies seem to be slipping its way into my free hours.
Therefore, I shall blog away about my life perhaps every couple of days, or whenever something dramatically notorious pops into my life. Plus, with school starting and all, and with a single routine placing its way into my life, I feel as though there wouldn't be much to blog about anyway. I have been faithfully blogging everyday since I began. But now I shall follow the trend others have set, and blog every couple days. Now you are able to see how those two minutes of your life will be affected. Instead of reading my life, you will probably be walking to the kitchen instead, or doing homework, or perhaps watching a commercial on the television. Not too shabby.
I shall write to you whenever!
Ciao!

That Thing called COLLEGE.

Yes. It was that thing. And yes, I started today. My first day of college. Fabulous. No, no, no! The day wasn't fabulous, just the idea of going to college was fabulous. But I soon did change my mind. 6 o' clock in the morning. Lovely. I got dressed, brushed my teeth, ate a bagel, and I was set to go. "Take pictures of Jessica on her first day of school!!" yelled my mother. LOVE my mother!
While heading out the door my sister asked "Do you have your cell phone?"...oops, my bad. She had only reminded me a million times to bring it. The day had already begun on a rather shaky foot. The day wasn't a nightmare, but it sure felt an awful like high school. I had at least one former high school classmate in each of my college classes. They were everywhere. As comforting as it was to see familiar faces, it was also a bit of a let down to realize that I haven't gone that far from home. I hadn't left high school to enter a whole new ambient as I had originally hoped for. Its fine though. I'm not here to pursue my career studies in an exotic land! But then again...that doesn't sound too bad.
Each of my teachers had a very different personality. It would be difficult to compare. But they did range from polite and reserved to loud, dominant and quite obnoxious. All were generally nice to say the least.
The busy hallways were filled with freshies (freshmen for those who closed minded). They all had a map in hand, turning it all ways around, desperately searching for their next classes while bumping into 2 & 3 year students who clearly knew where they were headed. Sweat droplets filled with stress and anxiety ran down their necks as they'd do a funny half walk-run jug, trying their hardest not to look like they were lost yet at the same time making a quick jolt to their class. I knew exactly what they were experiencing cause' "fresh meat" was practically stamped on my forehead.
I reminded myself:
"Enjoy the feeling of being a freshman! You only get that opportunity twice in your life! Strut your freshy-self!". And strut I did; Onto my awaited future.
We'll see where this year will take me! (That's if I last that long!)

Born Today.

Today is the day in which I was first seen face to face by my mother and father. The day in which people were assured of my existence. The day in which people prefer to call Birthday.
Today I am 19. Lovely.
I was spoiled with birthday goodies. I was stuffed with yummy foods. And I was hugged and kissed by the many people at church who wished me a happy birthday. Its always nice to have several shades of pink and red lipstick smothered across your face from all those kisses and to have a mixture of flowery perfume and strong cologne lathered within the fabrics of my clothes from the hundreds of hugs I received. Yes. Being loved today more so than any other day was quite nice. Imagine if it was always this nice.
Perhaps we would be immune to it and treat it as if it were a mere hello from afar. something notable yet almost meaningless.
Well, either way, I enjoyed it all today. From the claps I received from the whole restaurant as they called my name aloud and explaining to the world it was my birthday, to the silly band I got from this little 5 year old boy who wished me a happy birthday. Its all so blissfully, magical. One could only wish life was so absurdly nice and fun all the time.
Today was a good good day. And tomorrow starts the first day of school. So I hope today is not so easily forgotten amongst the craziness that tomorrow may bring.

1st is the worst, 2nd's the best.

My previous blog was written and posted, but once I posted and shut down the computer, I was left completely unsatisfied. Apologies to the few readers whom had to withstand the torture of my writing skills.

 Here is attempt two on yesterday's post:

Today I continue to find myself in the hotel lobby in Anderson, SC. Why am I walking in circles around the large columns that are found at the main entrance? Well, because I feel as though there isn’t much more than that to do. Yes, there’s a spa, yes there’s a sauna, yes there’s a nifty little shop that sells goodies, and yes there’s a n unlimited supply of room service and movies on demand. Still, that doesn’t satisfy me. Perhaps better to be meditating in the Word of God than to be succumbed by these worldly things.

Funny how one day I was at a blissful state of comfort and spoils, and the next I continue to seek more. How sad is man who seeks fleshly desires. Even sadder is the fact that I fit that description. But either way, I shall make the most of this shindig and basically just grab that bible they have in the hotel room and read away.  I’m not the type to be all “Oh lets read from the bible to entertain ourselves!”. Unfortunately, I lack the desire to read. Now I only desire to read because I feel it may relieve me of my dissatisfaction from everything else. Does that make sense? I hope so, cause’ this lobby music is getting to me and it possibly may be affecting my thinking skills. Until tomorrow of whenever!

Lack Creativity.

   I'm still currently in the hotel, and there is nothing to do. How sad and alone. I have wandered the halls of the hotel already. So I find myself  amongst business people and rich snobs while I stay in y little hideaway of shich is called the computer room. My small audience of which consists of 2 people are my only source of entertainment.
  I'm missing my friends dearly. I know we'd make something out of nothing here. Well considering how "creative" i'm supposed to be, wouldnt you think I could make a game out of a gum wrapper and shoelace? Sadly creativity is so limited in my mind. People often tell me "You're an artist, go be creative!". But here I tell you now. Creativity is almost non-existent in me. I lack it to a grand scale. Perhaps that is why I consider myself to be a realist when it comes to art. I draw what I see. I have attempted in the past to create some surrealism and abstract art, but they havent been my absolute best works ever.
So maybe i'll wander around the spa room and have the creativity of another do my nails or something. Pity.

Savoring The Last Few Days.

My first day of college starts on Monday. Ouch. I'm recieving mixed emotions. I was never the school intellect type, but rather the type of student who ran her own way while trying to maintain a decent grade point average. My whole highshool life, I felt as though I were balancing on a beam. It was like I was trying not to fall, yet still experiencing those near death wobbles as I'd walk across the beam of what is called my life.
So what does the title of "Savoring The Last Few Days" have to do with today's post? Well, I'm currently in Anderson, SC. Just a few hours from where I live. I'm having this last little bit of traveling freedom before I enter this new chapter of my life. My birthday is on Sunday (the day before school starts). How fortunate![insert sarcasm here]. But my lovely and dear aunt is spoiling me with goodies and such. So as I await the day of my first college day, I shall stay comfy in my plush hotel bed, and simply order room service in abundance. Because after this, I shall be hitting the books. Bummer. But I look forward to making something wonderful of myself while in college. I look forward to painting the streets red! Literally! I want my art to be everywhere! I can dream right? Of course I can, and I can work at making it come true. With a lot of work, and a lot more prayer, I'm sure impossibilities can be made possible. I look forward to these next few years of my college life. I'm gonna' be somebody!

Las Tres Amigas No more.

Have you ever had that best friend who was so oddly like you but in such a different way? A friend that held your hand through all the tough times in your life. A friend that wouldn't let you look like a fool alone, but would join in so we'd look like fools together. I have that friend. In fact, I have two of those friends. How lucky am I!?
  We call ourselves "Las Tres Amigas". I met them both in high school. Almost instantaneously our friendship emerged from nowhere. Perhaps it was the fact that we were little freshmen eagerly searching for friendship. Or maybe it was the inner obsession over Star Trek that brought us together (although at the time, we were still unaware of each others obsession). It could have been anything but the fact of the matter is, we stuck like glue. All three of us just clicked all too easily. Man, was it hard to unclick us! But there was something strong enough to separate us. College.
  I've always heard that after college, you lose many if not all of your friends. You go your separate ways and you make new friends. Well, with all the communication devices we have now and days, it may be a little tougher to prove those statistics. But today is the day that I fear for that to be true.
   One of my best friends is leaving today for Colorado. She's off to do great things! I'm extremely happy for her. But, whether we know it or not, that may be the start of a  slowly disintegrating friendship. Yesterday Las Tres Amigas got together to go for some ice cream. Our last meal? I doubt it. But it was sad. I hid my emotions well, but nearing the end of our little hangout, I nearly slipped up. Sometimes its better not to cry when a friend leaves. Crying may be a form of confirming our thoughts of a breaking friendship. Yes crying shows our love too, but we can show our love for them in other ways. I'll miss her greatly and I'm sure it wont be that last time I see her but,  I'd rather give her a hug and a smile than a tear.

Getting To Know Me.

 This all so new to me. Bear with me. I'm a young adult who sometimes refuses to get with the times. So blogging may take some time for the writer and the viewers.
  Art seeps within me. But I refuse to acknowledge some styles as true art. I'm old school with what I do.  My paintings are traditional and true to its form. Perhaps I lack the acceptance of  some art because I lack the skill to create it. Pity.
  I'm starting college in a week. How exciting, no? So as I attempt to fully discover myself in these next few years of my life, I chose to start off on this quest with a major in Psychology and a minor in Art. 
 Why did I choose to combine Psychology and Art as my studies? The combo seems to cling onto each other nicely. When an artist creates a work of art, they seek to make the most of their creation. In some cases, psychological turmoil is experienced. Remember Van Gogh? The ear cutting artistic genius (The more famous of the many artists who experienced such turmoil). How was he able to create such work and still remain sane? He wasn't. I made my point. I'd use myself as an example of such an artist experiencing turmoil but I have yet to experience such drastic measures. Maybe throughout this blog you'll have the opportunity to get a taste of that unexpected turmoil in my life. But hopefully you wont have to and if it does happen then hopefully no ear cutting will be involved (or any cutting in general).