He's 9 today.

Happy Birthday to my brother. Lucas Just turned 9 today and golly, he's growing up. Our relationship is so confusing sometimes, but one thing is clear; we love each other. we'd die for each other. Now...we fight each other ALL the time. But its such an odd sort odd fighting, We'll bug each other, we'll start laughing at something dumb and then it turns into a fight. We'll literally chase each other down the halls of our home and I'll usually be the one being chased down. I'll run into the bathroom and lock myself in there and then I'll here these deafening pounds on the door. As soon as he leaves I'll run off and he'll come back and chase me again, then I'll confront him and we'll grab each others hands and sorta push each other back..... And then we start laughing. We start laughing hysterically. It is so oddly confusing to understand whether this whole thing was a game or if we were truly fighting, and sometimes I cant even tell the difference. We fight, But we love. And I cant imagine my life without my baby brother. Happy Birthday Lucas. :)

Color Me...Gray?

As an artist, I often times seek the many ways I could possibly express myself or set myself apart from the rest of the world. My clothes is sometimes blinding due to the fact that I choose obnoxious colors. My room gives people a headache because of all the colorful scarves and figurines found everywhere. So I just enjoy expressing myself in said ways. Another way I tend to express myself is through my hair.
I'm like the amateur stylist around my house. If my mom or sister need their hair done, I'm who you call. I got some skills, but not crazy awesome ones.
Either way, it was in the day of yesterday, that I thought to myself, its been a while since I've dyed my hair. My roots were beginning to stick out a lot and my continuous blond color was beginning to bore me. I tend to get bored quickly with my hair. Its quite frustrating. So here I am in Walmart, making my way to the hair dye section and I choose a red-ish color.
I go home. Open the package. Mix. Dump on my hair. Wait 25 min. Wash my hair.
And there drops my jaw as I look in the mirror.
Is there an alternate ending to this story? Can I choose how I end this story of my life. Cause it would be great if I told you that I looked in the mirror and there I saw before me hair like an angel. Pure perfection and beauty.
And there my story ends...but then I woke up and my hair was still GRAY!!
Did you catch that? GRAY. GRAY like not blonde or redish or natural looking just GRAY. Okay okay, so it can be debated that I simply have a very ash blonde hair color. But I prefer to let the sugar coat simply melt off and say its gray. Because that is what I see under every shade of light.
So I have decided to simply not dye my hair anymore. I have decided that I shal leave my hair in its natural state. (Plus, my mom says I cant dye it anymore)

Schooling comes first.

College Student. I've added that to words that describe me....not that I keep a list in hand.
Either way, it is because I am now considered one of these people, that I have had to make the biggest decision OF MY LIFE.
Lies. It's not the biggest one. I just thought this blog would sound a bit more interesting by me writing that. And by explaining all this to you readers, I am also simultaneously causing you people (and by "you people" I mean my only two followers) to wait a bit longer for this mysterious decision that I am about to lay before you.
This decision may in fact affect a whole two minutes of your life. It is because of this decision that you may find yourself doing something completely different than you would have done before this decision had been made.
Do you truly care to find out what this decision is?
Well, The decision is....
**TUNE IN NEXT TIME TO FIND OUT WHAT JESSICA'S DECISION IS!!!!!**

Kidding! I wouldn't do that to you. Well, the decision is to refrain from blogging everyday. I have realized that apart from the lack of recorded readers I have here; I have also begun college and studies seem to be slipping its way into my free hours.
Therefore, I shall blog away about my life perhaps every couple of days, or whenever something dramatically notorious pops into my life. Plus, with school starting and all, and with a single routine placing its way into my life, I feel as though there wouldn't be much to blog about anyway. I have been faithfully blogging everyday since I began. But now I shall follow the trend others have set, and blog every couple days. Now you are able to see how those two minutes of your life will be affected. Instead of reading my life, you will probably be walking to the kitchen instead, or doing homework, or perhaps watching a commercial on the television. Not too shabby.
I shall write to you whenever!
Ciao!

That Thing called COLLEGE.

Yes. It was that thing. And yes, I started today. My first day of college. Fabulous. No, no, no! The day wasn't fabulous, just the idea of going to college was fabulous. But I soon did change my mind. 6 o' clock in the morning. Lovely. I got dressed, brushed my teeth, ate a bagel, and I was set to go. "Take pictures of Jessica on her first day of school!!" yelled my mother. LOVE my mother!
While heading out the door my sister asked "Do you have your cell phone?"...oops, my bad. She had only reminded me a million times to bring it. The day had already begun on a rather shaky foot. The day wasn't a nightmare, but it sure felt an awful like high school. I had at least one former high school classmate in each of my college classes. They were everywhere. As comforting as it was to see familiar faces, it was also a bit of a let down to realize that I haven't gone that far from home. I hadn't left high school to enter a whole new ambient as I had originally hoped for. Its fine though. I'm not here to pursue my career studies in an exotic land! But then again...that doesn't sound too bad.
Each of my teachers had a very different personality. It would be difficult to compare. But they did range from polite and reserved to loud, dominant and quite obnoxious. All were generally nice to say the least.
The busy hallways were filled with freshies (freshmen for those who closed minded). They all had a map in hand, turning it all ways around, desperately searching for their next classes while bumping into 2 & 3 year students who clearly knew where they were headed. Sweat droplets filled with stress and anxiety ran down their necks as they'd do a funny half walk-run jug, trying their hardest not to look like they were lost yet at the same time making a quick jolt to their class. I knew exactly what they were experiencing cause' "fresh meat" was practically stamped on my forehead.
I reminded myself:
"Enjoy the feeling of being a freshman! You only get that opportunity twice in your life! Strut your freshy-self!". And strut I did; Onto my awaited future.
We'll see where this year will take me! (That's if I last that long!)

Born Today.

Today is the day in which I was first seen face to face by my mother and father. The day in which people were assured of my existence. The day in which people prefer to call Birthday.
Today I am 19. Lovely.
I was spoiled with birthday goodies. I was stuffed with yummy foods. And I was hugged and kissed by the many people at church who wished me a happy birthday. Its always nice to have several shades of pink and red lipstick smothered across your face from all those kisses and to have a mixture of flowery perfume and strong cologne lathered within the fabrics of my clothes from the hundreds of hugs I received. Yes. Being loved today more so than any other day was quite nice. Imagine if it was always this nice.
Perhaps we would be immune to it and treat it as if it were a mere hello from afar. something notable yet almost meaningless.
Well, either way, I enjoyed it all today. From the claps I received from the whole restaurant as they called my name aloud and explaining to the world it was my birthday, to the silly band I got from this little 5 year old boy who wished me a happy birthday. Its all so blissfully, magical. One could only wish life was so absurdly nice and fun all the time.
Today was a good good day. And tomorrow starts the first day of school. So I hope today is not so easily forgotten amongst the craziness that tomorrow may bring.

1st is the worst, 2nd's the best.

My previous blog was written and posted, but once I posted and shut down the computer, I was left completely unsatisfied. Apologies to the few readers whom had to withstand the torture of my writing skills.

 Here is attempt two on yesterday's post:

Today I continue to find myself in the hotel lobby in Anderson, SC. Why am I walking in circles around the large columns that are found at the main entrance? Well, because I feel as though there isn’t much more than that to do. Yes, there’s a spa, yes there’s a sauna, yes there’s a nifty little shop that sells goodies, and yes there’s a n unlimited supply of room service and movies on demand. Still, that doesn’t satisfy me. Perhaps better to be meditating in the Word of God than to be succumbed by these worldly things.

Funny how one day I was at a blissful state of comfort and spoils, and the next I continue to seek more. How sad is man who seeks fleshly desires. Even sadder is the fact that I fit that description. But either way, I shall make the most of this shindig and basically just grab that bible they have in the hotel room and read away.  I’m not the type to be all “Oh lets read from the bible to entertain ourselves!”. Unfortunately, I lack the desire to read. Now I only desire to read because I feel it may relieve me of my dissatisfaction from everything else. Does that make sense? I hope so, cause’ this lobby music is getting to me and it possibly may be affecting my thinking skills. Until tomorrow of whenever!

Lack Creativity.

   I'm still currently in the hotel, and there is nothing to do. How sad and alone. I have wandered the halls of the hotel already. So I find myself  amongst business people and rich snobs while I stay in y little hideaway of shich is called the computer room. My small audience of which consists of 2 people are my only source of entertainment.
  I'm missing my friends dearly. I know we'd make something out of nothing here. Well considering how "creative" i'm supposed to be, wouldnt you think I could make a game out of a gum wrapper and shoelace? Sadly creativity is so limited in my mind. People often tell me "You're an artist, go be creative!". But here I tell you now. Creativity is almost non-existent in me. I lack it to a grand scale. Perhaps that is why I consider myself to be a realist when it comes to art. I draw what I see. I have attempted in the past to create some surrealism and abstract art, but they havent been my absolute best works ever.
So maybe i'll wander around the spa room and have the creativity of another do my nails or something. Pity.

Savoring The Last Few Days.

My first day of college starts on Monday. Ouch. I'm recieving mixed emotions. I was never the school intellect type, but rather the type of student who ran her own way while trying to maintain a decent grade point average. My whole highshool life, I felt as though I were balancing on a beam. It was like I was trying not to fall, yet still experiencing those near death wobbles as I'd walk across the beam of what is called my life.
So what does the title of "Savoring The Last Few Days" have to do with today's post? Well, I'm currently in Anderson, SC. Just a few hours from where I live. I'm having this last little bit of traveling freedom before I enter this new chapter of my life. My birthday is on Sunday (the day before school starts). How fortunate![insert sarcasm here]. But my lovely and dear aunt is spoiling me with goodies and such. So as I await the day of my first college day, I shall stay comfy in my plush hotel bed, and simply order room service in abundance. Because after this, I shall be hitting the books. Bummer. But I look forward to making something wonderful of myself while in college. I look forward to painting the streets red! Literally! I want my art to be everywhere! I can dream right? Of course I can, and I can work at making it come true. With a lot of work, and a lot more prayer, I'm sure impossibilities can be made possible. I look forward to these next few years of my college life. I'm gonna' be somebody!

Las Tres Amigas No more.

Have you ever had that best friend who was so oddly like you but in such a different way? A friend that held your hand through all the tough times in your life. A friend that wouldn't let you look like a fool alone, but would join in so we'd look like fools together. I have that friend. In fact, I have two of those friends. How lucky am I!?
  We call ourselves "Las Tres Amigas". I met them both in high school. Almost instantaneously our friendship emerged from nowhere. Perhaps it was the fact that we were little freshmen eagerly searching for friendship. Or maybe it was the inner obsession over Star Trek that brought us together (although at the time, we were still unaware of each others obsession). It could have been anything but the fact of the matter is, we stuck like glue. All three of us just clicked all too easily. Man, was it hard to unclick us! But there was something strong enough to separate us. College.
  I've always heard that after college, you lose many if not all of your friends. You go your separate ways and you make new friends. Well, with all the communication devices we have now and days, it may be a little tougher to prove those statistics. But today is the day that I fear for that to be true.
   One of my best friends is leaving today for Colorado. She's off to do great things! I'm extremely happy for her. But, whether we know it or not, that may be the start of a  slowly disintegrating friendship. Yesterday Las Tres Amigas got together to go for some ice cream. Our last meal? I doubt it. But it was sad. I hid my emotions well, but nearing the end of our little hangout, I nearly slipped up. Sometimes its better not to cry when a friend leaves. Crying may be a form of confirming our thoughts of a breaking friendship. Yes crying shows our love too, but we can show our love for them in other ways. I'll miss her greatly and I'm sure it wont be that last time I see her but,  I'd rather give her a hug and a smile than a tear.

Getting To Know Me.

 This all so new to me. Bear with me. I'm a young adult who sometimes refuses to get with the times. So blogging may take some time for the writer and the viewers.
  Art seeps within me. But I refuse to acknowledge some styles as true art. I'm old school with what I do.  My paintings are traditional and true to its form. Perhaps I lack the acceptance of  some art because I lack the skill to create it. Pity.
  I'm starting college in a week. How exciting, no? So as I attempt to fully discover myself in these next few years of my life, I chose to start off on this quest with a major in Psychology and a minor in Art. 
 Why did I choose to combine Psychology and Art as my studies? The combo seems to cling onto each other nicely. When an artist creates a work of art, they seek to make the most of their creation. In some cases, psychological turmoil is experienced. Remember Van Gogh? The ear cutting artistic genius (The more famous of the many artists who experienced such turmoil). How was he able to create such work and still remain sane? He wasn't. I made my point. I'd use myself as an example of such an artist experiencing turmoil but I have yet to experience such drastic measures. Maybe throughout this blog you'll have the opportunity to get a taste of that unexpected turmoil in my life. But hopefully you wont have to and if it does happen then hopefully no ear cutting will be involved (or any cutting in general).